Non Birding Bill On YouTube

Non Birding Bill is on YouTube. He wrote a play called THAC0 that he turned into a movie which was debuted and sold at CONvergence to rave reviews. He put the trailer on YouTube, but someone else completely different has put one of the scenes of the movie up on YouTube. What's even stranger is that he person who put it up is using NBB's photo as their profile photo. Anyway, here is the snippet. I must warn you that if you know nothing of role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons, it will seem as though they are talking in tongues. Bill would also like everyone to know that YouTube makes the sound quality quite crappy and he has mad movie making skillz:

City Birds County Birds Availability

Hello all, NBB here. Sharon will have a longer post about this soon, but I wanted to let you know that Sharon's new book, City Birds, Country Birds is available from several online retailers, including Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Of course, we also heartily encourage you to buy it at your local bookstore.

That's all I got; have a great weekend!

What A Crazy Weekend!

This weekend completely fell out of my hands.

Non Birding Bill and I went to CONvergence and he premiered his movie Thac0--and it was a hit! I was bummed that I missed the initial premier because I had to help set up for a Raptor Center program at the convention. However, the movie was so popular that it ended up being reshown Sunday night--I was so proud of him. It is so cool to sit in a packed room and listen to people be entertained by something your spouse worked so hard on with all of his friends. Above is a photo of the second movie audience. It was packed both times it was shown, standing room only. I think he's going to reshow it later this month.

Go, NBB!

Our TRC program was action packed! Above is Gail Buhl toting our turkey vulture Nero. We had an hour to go through four birds and one heck of a panel to present the bird information:

Here we have Erin from MISFITS who books TRC for CONvergence, Mercedes Lackey, Gail from TRC (who you might recognize from the oh-so-viral baby porcupine video), my buddy Amber (whose photos periodically show up in the blog), me, and Larry Dixon. Between all of us, we had some fun bird stories. Amber, Gail and I were just as excited to hear Mercedes and Larry's tales of wildlife rehab as we were to talk about the birds we brought.

Once again the sci fi and fantasy community treats TRC very well--everyone donated during the program and we took home an additional $200 on top of the actual off site program fee. Misfits also makes it possible for TRC to make appearances at area schools and we are so grateful for their support.

Storm Troopers At The National Park

I had a wild weekend of park rangerin'. Saturday, I was bioblitzing (more on that coolness later) and Sunday...well, let's just say it was off with a bang when Non Birding Bill was dropping me off and said, "Hey, isn't that Darth Vader?"

Yes, yes it was. The Science Museum has the Star Wars exhibit going on and since the Mississippi River Visitor Center is there, we get to see some of the fun. Several people were walking around the museum in full costume.

The Star Tribune set up right outside the visitor center to take photos of all the characters and we got to see everyone from Storm Troopers to Boba Fett to Sand People.

There was even a remote controlled, life size R2D2! It was fun to watch the guy running the controls maneuver him. A couple of times you would see R2 following a kid and the kid would nervously walk faster and faster, not sure what to make of the beeping little bot trailing behind.

Vader tried to get out of hand, but never fear, Ranger Birdchick kept him in line with her mad Jedi skillz. I didn't even need a light saber.

I was talking to one of the Jedi's and she said that all the people who came in character are part of a volunteer organization. They make their own costumes and make appearances for events like the Science Museum exhibit and even parades. I asked if they were going to be at CONvergence in a few weeks--NBB and I will both be there. Sure enough, they are going too.

I should mention, that NBB's play and his movie will be at CONvergence too. On Friday, July 4th at 7pm, the play THACO will perform on the main stage. On Saturday, we're both busy. I'll be doing a Raptor Center program with my buddy Amber from 5pm - 6pm and then NBB debut's the movie version of THACO at 7pm. If I understand it correctly, you have to be signed up for CONvergence to see the play and The Raptor Center program, but you can see the movie for free and not be signed up for the convention.

So, if you don't have plans that weekend and would like to experience a sci fi convention, stop on out.

I'm So Proud Of My Junior Beekeeper

I don't know what it is...maybe it's the Canon Rebel they've been playing with...but both Non Birding Bill and Mr. Neil are showing more of an interest in birds lately. While I was away livin' large in North Dakota, I was sent some oh-so-cool pileated woodpecker photo from Mr. Neil. It's a fun shot and that is such a classy bird. We've been putting some cashew suet in that particular feeder. It's been cool enough that it's not melting and the peckers are loving it.

It sounds like things are going well at the hives. This May and June have been insanely busy and Lorraine has been checking the bees and so has Mr. Neil when he is in town. I feel as though I've hardly been all up in them this year and I'm really missing them. I'm going to try and eek out a bit with them this weekend. Everyone else has been taking such great care of them that they are well in hand, but I do miss just sitting at their entrance, watching them coming and going. Here is the report:

Kellli & MimiKo Hives now have a third deep brood box to build into. If they keep going at the pace they have been, we could very well get honey from them.

Kitty 2 is buiding away and growing...and the Olga Report (my favorite report of all):

Olga: "Took a cursory glance at Olga -- saw larvae but no eggs anywhere. Decided not to worry and that if they didn't have a queen they could damned well grow a new one."

I hope the queen is really laying and they just didn't see any eggs at that time. And hopefully, we will get honey from her, but bees will be bees. I should also report that Mr. Neil has discovered that we may have some bees with extra long stingers--he got stung through the leather glove! Alas, he did not have a dramatic retelling to with it. I'm not sure if that's because his Britishness gives him a natural dignity when stung, or that one of the ways he keeps his cool factor is that unlike me, he keeps embarrassing moments of flailing and ponytail stomping to himself rather than put them in the blog.

A Simple Plan

Hello, all, NBB here again.

First off, big ups to my fabulous wife and her kick-ass team from Swarovski for winning first place in digiscoping at the World Series of Birding.

As for myself, having successfully made the backyard safe for brown birds, I trudged off to feed and inspect our two new hives. Both Kelli and Mimi were very active, and in Kelli's case, perhaps a little too active...


I found this after opening the lid of the hive to change the pail of nectar we give the bees to give them a head-start on the season. These cells had been constructed between the outer wall of the hive and the lip of the room. I'm assuming this is the work of the bees, but Sharon will know for sure. I wondered how far Kelli had gone in constructing comb inside the hive, but decided not to investigate further, as the weather was turning dark and cloudy, so I was keen to get moving.


As I say, both hives were very active, chomping down the pollen patties we gave them and sweet, sweet sugar water. There was a lot of activity outside the hives as well, in fact, here you can see a Mimi bee coming back into the hive with pollen baskets on her legs! This is great news and shows that even in this early, cold spring, the bees are hard at work, gathering pollen on their own, even when it's being provided for them. Again, I didn't open the hive to see if Mimi was doing any cell construction.

Mimi and Kelli taken care of, it was time for the main mission: Olga. Next week Sharon will be splitting the Olga hive, taking one of the boxes and putting in a new queen: Kitty III. To do this, we have to get a box of brood (eggs) and make sure that Queen Olga isn't in that box, otherwise she and Kitty III will fight to the death. In bees, like the great films that have crummy sequels, there can be only one.


Neil, though just back from a trip to Australia, joined me for the pre-split, and got this really cool picture while I ran back to get a frame holder. I'm not sure if this bee is dancing (which they do to communicate), but it sure looks neat.

So, the long and the short of the plan is this: inspect the top two boxes and make sure they each have at least 5-7 frames of brood. Then, place a queen excluder between the top two boxes. When Sharon comes out next week, whichever box has new larvae in it must be the box with the queen, thereby saving us the trouble of having to find her. Simple, right?

Small problem: the top box had no brood in it. Nothing. Not a sausage. Just honey and miffed bees. I was already in enough trouble for letting a colorful bird come to a feeder. How was I going to explain this?


We inspected the second box and found 5 frames of brood. Now, at this point I could have called Sharon, who was in the middle of about 14 hours of digiscoping. But we could see down into the bottom box and what seemed to be brood, so Neil and I decided to Deviate From The Plan.

In what I mentally dubbing Operation: Honey, It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time, We placed the bottom box on top, the empty box in the middle, and the middle box on the bottom, placing the Queen Excluder between the top two boxes.

This would, we hoped, accomplish what we were trying to do before: making sure that a) the queen would be in one of the two segments and unable to get into the other brood box, and b) since bees build up when making brood, if the queen was in the bottom box, the empty middle would give her room to grow.


And that was that. Part of what I find fascinating working with bees is that on one hand, they're like little machines, working industrially, each one doing her job, a cog. On the other hand, they're living creatures--both as individuals and as a hive--and act in unexplainable ways. Olga bees have a propensity for building feral comb that folds out from the hive frame, whereas Kitty didn't. It's especially odd to me that you can walk out in the middle of the day and literally take their home apart, when they live and work in darkness, and most of them will ignore you completely. Such odd little things.

Sharon will be out next week to survey the hives and figure out what needs to be done. Having explained what we did, she said she probably would have left the hive as it was, but that the best thing to do was not to reverse our work, but to leave the bees alone. And she's right; the work we do with reversals and such helps them in terms of what we want them to do (make honey), but really, the girls can work things out on their own. As long as the idiot drones don't get in the way.

Dear Sharon

Dear Sharon,

You asked me to keep an eye on things while you're at the World Series of Birding (really? They call it that?). I'll have an update about bee related things soon, but I thought you'd be interested to know about what was happening at Mr. Neil's hives while I got the bee gear together.

I filled all the feeders, and the birds must have been starving, because as soon as I walked away, they were all over that noise. You would have been so happy: it was a veritable rainbow of birds: all the way from brown, to umber, to burnt umber, to light brown. It was dazzling. Unfortunately, there were, as always, some troublemakers.

I'm not sure from what level of hell arose this not-brown monstrosity, but I knew you'd be cheesed if this type of creature came nosing around your feeders.

While I tried to figure out what to do, it made its way down to the feeder full of jelly you'd set out to nourish Common Sparrows, Very Common Finches, and Downright Mundane Looks Like Bits of Bark Birds.

How best to handle this? You left me in charge of the feeders for one weekend, and look what happened! What was this horrible half-bird half-crayon!? Surely its presence at the feeder would prove that I was a failure not only as a husband, but as a human being as well. How to proceed? I was perplexed, and to make matters worse, an even more colorful (ptui!) bird showed up right after it!

Ack! Shoo! Get out of here! You're endangering my marriage with your vibrant markings!


Back! Back I say! Back to the fiery pits that spawned ye!


I don't think he was listening.


Eventually, though, he took off and some bird with dark brown marks on its grey-brown body settled in. I enjoyed a sigh of relief, confident that the crisis had past, and as long as I kept my mouth shut, you'd be none the wiser...

Crap.

Pileated Woodpecker

NBB caught this footage of a Pileated Woodpecker outside on the feeders.

Whole Lotta Woodcocks Goin' On

I don't know where this week has gone! Between the snow, an expected house guest, giving programs at the Northwest Sports Show, banding class--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I'm leading a woodcock trip on Saturday night through Staring Lake Outdoor Center in Eden Prairie and I needed to double check the spot where we usually see the woodcock display. Non Birding Bill and I hit the spot and we heard them peenting and doing the flight display right away--one flew right past NBB's head as he was texting on his phone. We even heard a couple of them fighting each other--they kind sound like Bert on Sesame Street when he laughs.

There were so many and they were so loud, I got some video so you can hear the peent and when you hear the twittering sound, that's the woodcock doing the flight display.

Peep Roasting

If you're bird and like to watch sugary marshmallows being toasted, check out the video of Non Birding Bill roasting and eating a Peep. I have to say, this may be the best way to eat one. Because the fire carmalizes the sugar on the outside of the Peep, it's like eating a marshmallowy Crème brûlée. I was sent in the suggestion of using this for s'mores and to alse use a peanut butter cup instead of just a piece of chocolate.

Mmmmmm.

Because inside, I am 8 years old...

Fill-in blogging

Hello, all, NBB here. I am  myself extremely busy, but will try to keep you amused as best I can. On the off chance that you're one of the 4 people on the internet who doesn't read I Can Has Cheezeburger, today's post was one for the birding set:


moar funny pictures

Highlights & Gratitude For 2007

I'm a little foggy from last night's New Year's party. There was a man there who taught ballroom dance for a living and all the women took turns being twirled, whirled, hustled and rumbaed around the room. Good times.

The first bird that I saw and digiscoped for 2008--a white-breasted nuthatch. Mr. Neil tried to make a joke that seeing a white-breasted nuthatch meant a year of bad sex and Non Birding Bill wisely encouraged him to avoid inaccurate bird jokes before I have any coffee in the morning...so the fantasy writer still lives...for the moment.

I week or two ago I was tagged with a top birding moments of 2007 (for the life of me, I can't remember who tagged me) but I wanted to wait until 2007 was fully over before I put it together. I also get a wonderful email from a friend expressing gratitude for moments in the last year, so I think this will kind of morph into that as well since I have so much to be grateful for.

A huge highlight was getting to perform Play on Birds with Non Birding Bill at a Nature Festival in Ohio. I love doing this show and I love working with my husband on stage. I hope we get the opportunity again.

Digiscoping has just taken over my birding life and I've observed some really great moments with it. One big highlight was getting some great photos while at a meeting at Eastman Nature Center.

I also got a chance to digiscope a singing male indigo bunting. The bird was so focused on singing, he never noticed me. He sang so long that after I had taken all pictures I could, I just had to finally take the time to just enjoy him. What a treat and what a great bird to have such a beautiful bird in existence.


A big highlight was getting the chance to photograph and video a male golden-winged warbler at a bed and breakfast in Vergas, MN. If you follow this link, that will take to the post to watch the video of the golden-winged warbler and also of a bobolink that was singing at the bed and breakfast as well.

North Dakota was another great time, and getting the chance to observe ruddy duck courtship display was a definite highlight. I just happened to find them while exploring some remote gravel roads and spent and hour watching the males display and the females take their time in showing any interest. North Dakota was also a great chance to hang out with great friends and explore Clark Gable's grandparent's home and find a burrowing owl.

Young Cooper's hawks provided no end of entertainment from bathing in a puddle of a neighboring roof (she's a dirty girl) to nailing a pigeon right in front of my apartment building. I never ceased to be amazed at the incredible amount of nature right in front of our eyes in a busy metro area. Going out in the middle of nowhere is fun, but incredible wild stuff is happening anywhere, as long as you go out and take a moment to notice.

Banding hawks in the fall is always fun, but this year was particularly exciting because I got a chance to "yank the pigeon" and help bring hawks into the nets. I also slept in a van out in the fields to prove that if I need to, I can still rough it.

I finally had a chance to improve my shorebird watching skills! Doug Buri offered a weekend workshop in August and he promised me that I would learn my shorebirds. I was skeptical, but he promised that I would see least sandpipers within five feet of me. The man did not lie and not only can I had identify shorebirds in my area, I find them quite beautiful. I hear he's offering two workshops next year--I highly recommend them!

Carpenter banding is always fun, but this year when we had an adult sharp-shinned hawk try to get one of the juncos we had just trapped, was a big highlight--Hellziggy took the above photo. We ended getting the sharpie and banding it as well as the junco. This is not to be confused with a separate sharpie/junco incident that happened in December.

Having a young titmouse sit on my head while at Mr. Neil's was another highlight.

Speaking of Mr. Neil, I finally got vindication with a saw-whet owl. For years, I have insisted that one should be in his woods. I had found saw-whet feathers in wren nests, I had found poop, but never the saw-whet--until this year when I found the above bird sleeping in a pine. Whoot!

Birds were only part of this magical year. Beekeeping has opened my eyes to a whole new world, and words cannot express what it felt like to have a worker bee lick nectar off of my bare finger. From having a massive panic attack when installing the bees, to requeening problems, to even giving sex advice, to my first bee sting...this has been one weird year and I cannot wait to see what new adventures lay ahead of us in 2008.

And let's not forget the porcupet--the baby porcupine who was found on the side of the road next to his mother who had been hit by a car. He was being cared for by a friend of mine who is a professional wildlife rehabber. By the time he was in her care, he had already been imprinted on humans and could not go back to the wild. He is now living at the International Wolf Center in Ely, Mn and goes by the name Clover. His videos are still a sensation on YouTube.

Birding also got me a brush with coolness when the Colbert Report filmed a segment at an Eagle Festival in Connecticut.

And I can't talk about what an amazing year it has been without talking about Cinnamon and Disapproving Rabbits. That has been one wild ride to have a web page we put up for fun and have it turn into a book. To have signings and have people come from different states to meet my bunny is just overwhelming. When I looked over the blog in the last year and how it has morphed and changed, I noticed that Cinnamon has been featured less and less. I'm not sure why. At first, I thought it was my infatuation with beekeeping, a new subject to write about. Then we started a separate blog for Disapproving Rabbits so I wondered if I was keeping it separate. But, I also get some strange emails (greatly overshadowed by some really wonderful and funny ones) from fans. I wonder if the few odd/unpleasant ones are making me feel protective of my bunny's privacy and the fun times we have. Or is that she is getting older and I want to distance her to protect all from being too emotionally invested when the inevitable happens? Not sure, but we'll see what happens in the coming year.

Birds and Beers has been a real treat. Above is a photo from the first Bird Blogger Conference where many bird bloggers got to meet face to face for the first time. I'm hoping to expand Birds and Beers in 2008 where anyone who is remotely interested in birds from beginner to kinda interested to very interested to birding has taken over my life will get a chance to sit down, share a beverage and talk some birds.

And I would like to once again thank EVERYONE who reads the blog, leaves comments, sends emails, or spreads the word. I feel incredibly honored that people are interested in what I put on here and make it such a fun part of my day and my life. I've made some great new friends and connections and I love it when someone sends a note to tell me that they noticed some bird or activity that they never would have noticed before if they had not read the blog. We also did some good this year when readers from here did the "Click for Condors" and helped Ventana Wildlife Society win $10,000 in grant money. Not bad at all. Thank you very much, and here's hoping you have wonderful new year and share new adventures.

Thank you.

Odds And Ends

This entry is brought to you by the amazing levitating nuthatch--ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo. Ahhhhhhh.

Well, Non Birding Bill, Cinnamon, Kabuki, and I have all made the long car trip from Minneapolis to Indianapolis without incident. Cinnamon has been here before and is just loving running around Mom's condo--it's carpeted. She popcorned (or binkied) all over the living room. My mom has two cats who are quite afraid of Cinnamon. I don't know why, but here is an example:



See what I mean? What a wuss!

This will be good, Cinnamon will be in a great mood before her tv appearance and signing. If you're in the Indianapolis area Saturday, watch WISH TV between 8:30am - 9am or come say hi and get your own personal disapproval at Big Hat Books at 4pm. You can also see how short my mother is--if you think I'm short, she's even tinier. We'll also have the great folks from the Indiana House Rabbit Society on hand with live bunnies. Live bunnies and books--what could be a better combo?

I'm trying to sift through my email and found the following message from Lorraine:

"uh, I found a frozen bird in a bag in our freezer today. Not the
kind you eat. Did anyone mention this to you or is it yours? Just
curious....."

When I find a freshly killed bird that is still fairly in tact, I will freeze it and take it with me to donate the Bell Museum. Last time I was out her way, a junco had hit the window and I put it in the freezer to take with me when I left...and forgot. Oops. I'm so lucky to have friends who put with my weird ways. NBB still has not gotten used to frozen birds in the freezer.

Speaking of NBB, I forgot to mention that he got one heck of an honor. A couple of months ago, I got an email from the editor of The Albatross, the newsletter for the Santa Cruz Bird Club. She wanted to use an excerpt from my blog in their newsletter. I was honored and excited and then I noticed which entry they wanted to use. It was the Brown Bird entry that my darling husband wrote while guest blogging for me. He's now getting no end of enjoyment lording over my head that he's been published in The Albatross and I have not. Sigh. I am proud of him and I wonder how long he's going to keep being a non birder--I mean, c'mon, he's now been published in a bird publication...what's next, giving a paper at the next American Ornithologists' Union Conference??

Hey all, NBB here. Sharon's on her way back from Harlingen, so expect lots of birding posts, hot 'n' spicy, Texas-style soon.

Side note: we've turned on comment moderation for a bit due to some trolling, so that's why your comments won't appear right away.

We now resume your regular schedule.

Back (in black)

Hello, all, NBB here. I have an announcement regarding the Birdchic Boutique, our online store.

The bad news is that the brown shirts we use for the Disapproving Rabbits shirts is being discontinued. So, once we sell out of the brown shirts, they're gone (and we're already out of a couple of sizes!).

The good news is that we're going to continue to sell them in a black shirt!

We've had a lot of request to print these shirts in a stylish black, and now it's an idea who's time has come. The shirts will continue to be printed on quality, pre-shrunk cotton Tees, with the design screenprinted (not heat-transferred) on.

You can pre-order the black tees now, and we expect to have our first batch ready before Thanksgiving. Thanks to everyone who's bought a shirt!

A quick note

Hello, all, NBB here. Sharon's running off to her segment on Showcase Minnesota, but she wanted me to let you all know that as she was heading out the door, UPS delivered her advance copy of the Disapproving Rabbits Book!



I quote verbatim:

"It's soooooooo cool! I opened a page and, there's a picture of Latte (our first rabbit)!"

Sharon asked me to let you all know that. The book is being published in October, and the reason it's taken so long for us to get an advance copy is that as soon as they show up in the publisher's office, they disappear. Yay.

Buy my book! (in the future)

Throw away your calendars! They are needed no more!

Sharon's editor sent us this little piece of joy:

Get this widget!

-NBB

Born freeeeeeee

Three monarchs flapping like crazy, released into the wilds of Minneapolis.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming

Sharon comes home today. Normal blogging will resume shortly, along with your daily recommended allowance of Brown Birds.

First, a bit of housekeeping:

To celebrate Sharon's return, we're having a bit of a sale over at the Birdchic Boutique. We're clearancing out our remaining Birdchick shirts for ten bucks each, plus shipping and handling (no, not the Disapproving Rabbits shirts). Get 'em while they last!

Three of the Monarch cocoons turned black overnight, which means they'll be emerging soon. Possibly today!

Thanks to all of you for your kind words during my guest stint (I typed "stink" there. Paging Dr. Freud!). Sharon tells me that she has an interesting post about bald birds coming up, right after she goes back and corrects every single inaccurate thing I wrote in her blog.

So long, and for god's sake, stop driving while birding!

Cinnamon potpurri

In lieu of a post today, I present a series of miscellaneous Cinnamon pictures. The insects done wore me out.


Cinnamon is a Castor Rex, bred for their fur, which is very soft. Wild rabbits have a combination of long and short hair. Cinnamon's is all short.

She's a curious rabbit, and by that, I mean she likes to explore. Sometimes I worry she gets too bored, so we try to take her out to the park when it's not too hot, or into the hallway to let her stretch her legs. Most of the other rabbits we've had were content with the apartment, but Cinnamon likes to explore.


It took us forever to find a treat that she liked. I don't know what her life was like before we got her from the shelter (we were told the previous owners had a baby, which is why they gave her up), but we couldn't get Cinnamon to take any treats at all. It was weird.

Then one day some dried cranberries spilled on the floor and she snarfed them up like a vacuum cleaner. That was when the penny dropped and she realized that HUMANS COULD BE A SOURCE OF FOOD!
Which was all well and good until she also realized that the food came from the kitchen, the one area we don't want her to go into it, since that's where the trash is.
Combined with her naturally curious nature, it's becoming sort of a game for her to see how close she can go into the kitchen before we yell, and--more importantly--get up. When we shout, she'll pause for a moment and look back to see if we're getting up. If we don't, she just keeps on doing what she's doing. But if we get up, then she knows we mean business and she scampers off. Until she thinks we're not paying attention.

She's lost a lot of weight in the last year, which has made her even more active.

When Sharon wanted to put up a section of rabbit photos on her (then) new website, I thought it was a dumb idea. This was a site about wildlife after all; why put up pictures of domestic rabbits? Who'd wanna look at that?

"Disapproving rabbits" was the last thing I put up, and grudgingly. Joke's on me! Especially when the book comes out in October.

Okay, I'm off to read some Gene Wolfe and veg. We will hopefully have a more coherent post tomorrow.

Whoop tay yai-yay

When Sharon took off on her trip, she left behind one of the cameras she uses for digiscoping, a Nikon CoolPix 4500. It's got two very interesting things about it: one, it's capable of taking absolutely stunning close-up ("macro") shots, and two, it was forged in the fires of Hell by Lucifer himself.

They don't talk much about that second one in the promotional material.

I'm trying to explain why this post, about caterpillars, will only have two pictures in it. No matter how hard I tried, I simply could not get this camera to focus on what was right in front of it. But the CoolPix and I have bad blood between us, ever since I tried to shut off its time-delay function, which was apparently near and dear to its cold, black heart. The manual was less than useful: "To counteract time-delay function: Do not. Will cause universe implosion. If such effect is desired, please shift yourself into a parallel dimension first, and speak to the Vortex Warlock for further guidance."

So, then, caterpillars!

As you probably know, every year, Sharon "ranches" Monarch caterpillars, growing them inside a mesh container until they're become full-fledged butterflies and be set free.

This year she's ranching Black Swallowtails as well, which are a lot harder to break to the saddle, let me tell you. Also, they come from darker eggs, which means Mrs. Olson won't give us as much for them.

Ahem.

Anyway, the swallowtails are interesting: as Sharon pointed out earlier, in their initial form they're colored to look like bird poo, then look more or less like Monarchs, but when they cocoon, their chrysalis looks more like a Metapod.

Note the two silk strings attached, and the funky wood-like coloration. The other Swallowtail is green like a Monarch chrysalis, however. I'm not sure if this a natural variation, someting to do with age, or health. At any rate, it looks pretty cool, don't you think?

And it is chrysalis city in the Monarch ranch, here. We've already got about eight in cocoons, two more about to assume the J position and get started metamorphosizin', and a couple more big fat cats munching down milkweed as we speak. Soon I'll have to rope 'n' brand 'em, which is much harder than you think, seeing as the branding iron is so small.

In fact, in the time I spent off yesterday, bee-tending, they had eaten the milkweed down to the stalk and were subsisting on dead leaves on the bottom of the container. Eep! I'm sorry guys! I didn't know you'd be so voracious. I'd think you had a tapeworm, except that, well, you're a lot smaller than tapeworms.

Prowling through the street looking to feed the cats hungry for an angry fix, I left the house first thing this morning looking for milkweed, which like Scotch tape and a corkscrew, is something you trip over constantly until you need it. What must I have looked like at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday, walking the streets, my eyes glued to the edges of lawns and medians? A burglar? A drunk, staggering home? Or worst, a birder?

Ah well, I found what I was looking for, stuffed it in the container, and rustled up the cats onto the leaves, where, after a lot of exploration, they started happily munching away. I could tell that one stalk wasn't going to be enough, so later in the day I walked the Greenway for a bit, making myself a menace to the bikers as I scanned the wild growth.

Bikers, I apologize. I had hungry insects to feed, and, frankly, "On the left!" really confuses me, which I recognize is a personal problem. See, if you just ring a bell, I can generate a Pavlovian response that tells me I should dodge to the curve nearest the side I'm on. But when you say "On the Left!" First there's a shock of hearing someone bark at me, then I realize there's a person on a bike closing on me, then I have to think "Do they mean they're coming on my left, or that I should move to the left," which is really stupid, I know, because you're not saying "to the left," but there you are.

Plus, in that split second of minor panic, it takes me a second to remember which side the left is. So my natural instinct is, deerlike, to freeze in the middle of the path just so I can be certain I'll get creamed.

Anyway, some green, sluglike creatures get to stuff themselves, so that's okay.

ANOTHER PRIVATE MESSAGE TO SHARON. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS.

Dearest Heart,

Glad to hear that you're enjoying your trip, however I find it distressing that you won't tell me where you are or when you're coming back. And why do I hear laughter and Mariachi music in the background?

I miss you. The birds do, too, apparently, because just today I saw a flock of Goshawks fly right by our window.

Warmest regards,
-NBB

END PRIVATE MESSAGE.

This post is covered in bees

Hello, all, NBB here.

As Shazz pointed out, I was initially apprehensive about her keeping bees. Given that both her and Neil's schedules are so hectic, I was convinced that his assistant Lorraine and I would end up being the bulk of the work. And while I don't have a bee phobia, the idea of intentionally walking up to a big pile o' bees and tearing their home apart to steal their honey gave me pause.

So it was a little surprising to find myself heading off to inspect the hives today, alone. Well, except for Cabal the beekeeping dog, who really serves only in an advisory capacity.

I can haz beez?

The really weird thing is that beekeeping isn't all that scary. The suit covers you completely, and the smoker causes them to instantly scurry back into the hive. Whenever we go out there, I'm more concerned about crushing a bee that I am about getting stung.

Another thing is that the bees themselves aren't aggressive. As long as you handle the boxes carefully, and smoke regularly, most of them just go about their business, even as you take the frames out, one by one. You'd think you'd get a bigger reaction, since they live and work in darkness, but opening the hive really only affects a small portion of the hive, who come out and buzz around, but don't immediately attack. Part of this, of course, is because we go out in the middle of the day, when the foragers are out collecting pollen, but still.

The only time they've become deliberately aggressive is when a frame we were handling slipped from the glove, fell about an inch, but landed on the hive with a good, solid, bonk! In a split-second, the buzzing got much louder, and Sharon and I both froze.

"I wish that hadn't happened."

"Me too."

Still, even when they're buzzing around your head, butting against the screen that shields your face, there's not really a sense of attack--though we have been stung in the gloves a couple of times. Maybe it's because before all this, my interaction was with lone bees--foragers, and all you think about is the stingers, rather than them working as a group, building a hive.

So anyway, I like the bees. They're kind of cute. Perhaps it's because they're fuzzy.

And now for your weekly bee report.

Queen Kitty II, by the Grace of God, Defender of etc., etc. had been accepted into the hive and it was hoped that she would start laying workers to replenish the hive. I'm happy to report that I believe this is happening!

Let me first apologize for the quality of the pictures; taking good shots of bees is tough enough, but add in a black screen in front of your face, direct sunlight on the view screen, and sweat dripping onto your glasses, and it's hard to feel the love when you're trying to get out of there as quickly as possible, before you need to find out if you're allergic to bees (and you realize that you left your cell phone back at the house. Screaming "911" doesn't really work as well).

Plus, and I hate to gossip, but the bees just really didn't take direction well. "Throw back your wings!" I shouted. "Show me how much you love that honey! Stick out your proboscis!" Honestly, it was like they weren't listening at all. Prima donnas.


This is the top box of Kitty. Some activity there, and a lot of buzzing. The last few times we visited the hive was very lethargic (quiet), so I took this as a good sign. Pulling out the end frames:

Workers, drawing out comb, which means that they're building their own comb on top of the plastic sheets in the middle of the frame. I don't know if you can see it in this picture, but there are a lot of bees in the middle box, below this one. Pulling out the center frame:
It's almost entirely filled with honey, some of it capped. This actually made me a little apprehensive, because what we hoped for was brood: eggs that would turn into workers. At least, I pretty sure it's all honey. Sharon's the head beekeeper here and I'm just trying to remember what she told me as I watched her inspect the hive. Anyway, not seeing any evidence of eggs, I moved onto the second brood box.

Tons of activity and a lot of buzzing, which I was happy to hear. On the end of the box they were drawing out more of what looked to be honey, and making more of their funky comb (Kitty hive takes after her namesake). I was pleased by the activity, but knew that I had to keep digging until I could report to Sharon that we had larvae. So, moving into the middle frame of box 2:
Larvae! Precious, precious larvae! Now, if I remember correctly, the worker cells are relatively flush with the comb while drone cells puff out, because the males need more room for their recliners and beer. So, is this almost all future workers for the Kitty hive. In addition to this, there was a lot more activity going on inside, lots of noisy buzzing. Yay!

Having established that Kitty II was having a prosperous reign, I closed the hive and moved onto Olga.

Olga, as you'll recall, was our big hope for honey after the Kitty I decided to go on tour with her Swarm (which would be a good name for a hair metal band, late 80s. So if you're thinking about traveling back in time and living like a modern cowboy, on a steel horse you'll ride...). However, after having no end of problems with the first honey super (the wax centers kept collapsing), we added a section of plastic rounds, but left the first super on as well, just to see what the bees would do.

And here it is: The bees are building feral comb in the empty frames, which, if all goes well, will translate into edible honey for us, albeit in a very funky form. Olga, your bees are getting results, but they're not following the rules!

Suddenly I'm a chief inspector in a bad 70s cop show.

Very little activity otherwise. Moving onto the plastic rounds:

ZILCH.

We're getting completely nooged by the Olga bees, who I think might be onto us. One was constantly buzzing my head, and despite my best efforts to smoke her, she kept right on flying a patrol around my noggin. Lots of bees running around in the plastic rounds, and they'd glued them all together with propolis so tightly I had to pry them out with both hands, but not a single spot of comb.

UPDATE: Turns out the plastic rounds are supposed to have a wax foundation (like the other frames) that goes in between them. After rummaging around in the shipping boxes, I found them, added them to our second set of rounds, and swapped the boxes. Needless to say, the bees don't really appreciate two visits in one day. Ah, life.

So, this concludes your regular bee update. And now, if everyone will please close their browser windows...

A PRIVATE MESSAGE TO SHARON:

Darling, please come home. I'm sorry I made jokes about birds. I'm so, so sorry. I miss you. The pets miss you. Well, Cinnamon doesn't, but you know what I mean. I promise never to make jokes about how brown birds look exactly alike, even though they obviously do. And all those times I said you were nuts to go and stand in a field at 5 a.m.? Well, uhmmm... well, I was right about that, too, but if you come back I'll keep it to myself and only laugh when I think you're not looking.

Please, please come back.

END PRIVATE MESSAGE.

Bunny flops galore

Here's a very cute video of a pet rabbit, which features bunny flops galore.

Birding books (a shopping guide)

Hello, all, NBB here.

First off, I should tell you all that Shazz (a nickname she picked up from a UK reader, as I recall) is alive and well and is getting ready for a short trip out of town, which is why I'll be your host for the next few days. I'm sure when she returns, she'll have a long series of posts detailing every single inaccurate thing I wrote about birds, or perhaps, if we're very lucky, she'll go back and annotate the posts I did write, so we'll get sort of a director's commentary.

My wife is a wonderful woman with a great sense of humor. Except when it comes to birds, an area where she has no sense of humor. At all. I can make jokes about bees carrying little pails and Cinnamon needing to color eggs for Easter, and it's all good. But jokes about pouring salt on a bird's tail are met with a stony silence, and heaven help us if we're watching a movie and characters camping on a mountain forest hear a loon call.

Which of course just makes it funnier to me.

To compensate for this, I try to give Sharon bird-related books she'll really like. Now, Sharon's pretty hardcore, so these suggestions may not apply to the birder in your life, but I thought I'd pass them on, regardless. This is primarily for the significant others of birdwatchers, because boy howdy, I think I've caused a few fights in other people's relationships by buying too good a gift, if you know what I mean.

The first thing you need to know is that there are four kinds of bird books. There are basic books, field guides, scientific books, and bird porn (here's hoping that last category doesn't get us flagged again).

Basic books have a lot of general information and pictures, and are designed for the casual bird watcher. There the kind of book you'd get someone as a housewarming present, I guess; they don't give a lot of details, because they don't want to bore the casual reader. I recognize them by picking a paragraph at random and thinking, would I read this book myself? If the answer is "yes," then I don't get it for Sharon. Don't get me wrong, these books often have useful information, and if your loved one starting out as a birder, this is probably the best place to begin.

Field Guides are pretty obvious, but need to be suited to the personality of the birder. Think of it like choosing a wand in Harry Potter. "This one? No, no, no, too heavy. How about... Yes, this is very good for birds in your area, not so much for shore birds. But then there's..."

It's probably best to let a birder choose their own field guide, though of course they can drop hints about one they'd like for someone to pick up for them (cough, cough). Guides are either use photos or paintings. Photos, of course, show you what the bird actually looks like (but are often taken from a distance), while paintings can show a lot more detail (but you kind of have to translate an artist's rendering into real-world situations).

One fun thing you can do with field guides is look for ones that refer to different countries. In addition to the fact that they probably won't have it, the birds in other countries are (gasp) usually colorful, and pleasing to look at. Guides to other countries are usually the only ones I buy for Sharon because in terms of what she needs for her day-to-day birding, she has the guides she needs: a Sibley in the car for checking field marks, and several more at home for puzzling out difficult birds.

Scientific books are the meat 'n' potatoes of what I get Sharon. And the best part is that you can usually find them really, really cheap because no one in their right mind would buy them unless they worked at a library and needed to fill up the stacks with books that no one ever checks out.

Scientific books are books written by ornithologists for ornithologists. They have very few pictures, lots of graphs, and such thrilling titles as "Biosystemics of the American Crow." When I see something like this peeking up at me from the bottom row of Half Price Books, I think "Pay dirt!" More boring makes it more better, as I learned over the course of a few Christmases, having put down books on very obscure topics (