As I was handing out trail guides at the Republican National Convention, I would mention that birding was one of the things people could do. A woman said, I just got a flier from a guy protesting bird watchers.
BIRD WATCHERS ARE VOYEURS!
According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service forty eight million people watch birds. A private research group, the Good Conduct Society, has discovered Bird Watchers are more sexually active than others.
The elderly find that Bird Watching is not strenuous. And this erotic experience can be enjoyed privately through binoculars.
"Most disturbing," said the Society's director, Anaida Krok, "are the groups of Bird Watchers seeking vicarious sexual gratification in the woods. Shamelessly, they blatantly observe God's defenseless creatures mating."
LEAVE THE BIRDS ALONE!
I later encountered the guys:
They even have a website: StopBirdPorn. I think this group is just trying to get some publicity. A for effort boys. But based on the lack of content on the site and that there are references to them at the Democratic National Convention, I think they're just trying really hard to get on The Daily Show. Can't you just hear them sitting around playing a game of Drink Uno formulating the plan:
"We should come up with some crazy plan and go the political conventions. We could be, like, crazy protestors. There are totally crazy people protesting weird stuff."
"What should we protest? Caffinated sunflower seeds?"
"No, dude, we should, like, protest something people think is harmless. Something old people love."
"Yeah, like stamp collecting!"
"Better, bird watchers!"
"Aw, dude, that's awesome! We should totally do that!"
"We should say that they are, like, sexual deviants or have more sex than anyone else, and they like to watch birds doing it too!"
"Yes! You so rock, dude, you so rock! We gotta start a website."
"You know what, this is crazy enough, I bet we could get on, like the Daily Show, man!"
"I am so in!"
Hm, I wonder if we'll see these guys at birding conventions?