Adventures In Female Urination

This post maybe TMI for some people.  Take note of the title and if that is not your favorite subject or something you don't like imagine other people doing, I would recommend you stop reading and maybe check out this cool post by my buddy Amber about some gannet rescue she did while on vacation in Florida. When I travel, I'm periodically asked by friends to take along a stuffed animal or  a Flat Stanley for photos.  I almost always decline.  Number one--suitcase space is an issue and number two--I always lose something when I travel, whether it be accidental or confiscated by airport staff.  Stuff just goes missing.  If I lost a friend's treasured critter that's been photographed all over the planet, I'd feel terrible.


So, I got a request from an online rabbit name Audrey from All About You asking if I could take a stunt Audrey with me overseas.  She has a blog and it would be a reciprocal blogging thing.  I thought, "Okay, they have stunt rabbits, this isn't a treasured animal, I can do this."

So, Audrey came with me and we had a lovely time in Frankfurt.  Above she is hanging out with a rather large snail outside our Frankfurt hotel.


We shared a beer in a Frankfurt bar (although, I had to chuckle at her choice of fruity beer--grapefruit beer?  Really?).


And then this is the last known photo of Audrey.  After getting her photo next to a Frankfurt sign warning that you are being watched, she nestled into my checked luggage for our flight to Kazakhstan...and hasn't been seen since.

ARRRGH!  I feel terrible!

And she wasn't the only thing missing from my checked luggage.  I had also recently won a female urinary device known as GoGirl at an outdoor convention.  I was anxious to try this out.  But like Audrey, it was missing from my checked luggage.  I don't know why, don't want to know why.


And there were several times I missed my GoGirl.  For example, above is one of our restroom stops.  Our birding guide in Kazakhstan was more of an ornithologist than tour leader, so his bathroom breaks were stops like this with girls on one side boys on the other.  I can go outdoors, but with short legs, there are some challenges, and I have a shy bladder.  This was not ideal for me...I like a bush, a shrub for the illusion of privacy.  Also, I like something to lean on or prop up against.


If we did have restrooms, they were like this.  Let's take a closer look.


I really missed my GoGirl here.


I was excited at this birding spot--if you look in the distance towards the center left, there's an old wall--a perfect spot for female privacy.  I went around the wall, away from the birding group, I got in a good leaning position and started to go.  All was running smoothly until a slight movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention.  I looked and focused on the critter that was the same color as the wall and about to crawl on my exposed area...and that was the moment I got my lifer scorpion.  Didn't know they had those in Kazakhstan.

I lept up, there was spray, and a little tumbling.  After a moment's recovery, I got my camera out for a photo.


Apparently, my chosen leaning location was a little nook that the scorpion liked to crawl into.  All I got was a photo of its tail.  It was only about four inches long, but still freaked out this Midwestern girl.  I also have a new appreciation for the quick dry material on REI's convertible pants.


On our final day in Kazakhstan we hit a storm and it got very rainy.  I asked our guide if we could stop some place for a toilet.  He looked around and said, "This place is good," and pointed to the surrounding shrubbery.

I said, "I really need someplace dry and maybe we could go to a gas station, I'll buy the vehicle some gas. A cafe?  I'll buy some food, any place but I just want it dry."

He looked skeptical but said he would find me some place dry.  Our vehicle stopped and I didn't see any buildings, the terrain was as remote as the above photo.  He pointed to a blue railing along the road and said, "See that blue pipe? That is bridge, you go under road, it be dry there."

And it was dry and I appreciated it.

So, Audrey and GoGirl, where ever you two are, I hope you are being put to good use.