"Hey honey, you got a second?" "Sure."
"Okay. Don't get mad."
(sigh) "What happened?"
"Neil thinks he saw an eagle come down and try to get a squirrel in his yard."
"Why would I be mad about that?"
"Because you get mad when we think we see birds."
"Well, why don't you two boys go out and try and find it, then write it up in the blog while I'm busy in Atlanta."
Vicious Eagle-on-Squirrel Assault Leaves Local Man Scared, Shaken.
The terrified man, shown here protected by his faithful hound, was "simply glad to have survived the encounter."
Here he indicates where the savage attack took place... right outside his own window!
Your faithful reporter thought he meant here. Turns out that was your faithful reporter's own bootprint.
Turns out he meant here. Imagine the event, if you will. In fact, you sorta have to.
Here the witness looks at the tree into which the bird flew, following the attack.
Pictured: the tree into which the Eagle may have flown. Not pictured: the Eagle.
Your faithful reporter scans the skies for sight of the fell beast. What's that? Has the eagle returned, red in tooth and claw?
No. Just some bees. Strangely out and about in sub-zero weather, they quickly proved more than a match for this humble correspondent, who beat cheeks after rescuing one or two from a snowy grave.
Sharon will return tomorrow. I know, I know. We're all glad.